Happier

Sorry gang this ones kind of blah... But it's for the most part pretty real to me. Enjoy :P


I sat next to him as he talked to his "important" people. I gently took his hand in mine, smiling as he didn't instantly shoot me a glare and pull his hand back. No, this time he waited five minutes before gently removing his hand from mine and placing it back on the table. I sat there silently. Shocked that he did that, but not shocked. He does that every time.

Okay, so he's not a fan of PDA. I mean, he's in the spot light so much, who could blame him. But I am his girlfriend. Ok... I'm a girl... and I'm a friend. But we're more than that. I mean, we share things emotionally. I know everything about him. He knows everything about me. We sleep together. Just sleep. I've told him no more fuck buddies. That just hurts too much.


It's weird this limbo. This friends, but more. Dating, but less. Serious but not. No committment.


Now I'm not a jealous person, but when you add his looks, with his charisma... It's a magnet for women.


It doesn't help that all he does is talk about the women he could be with but isn't. Yah, that makes me feel beautiful.


"Hey, Alex... You okay?" He crowded his face near mine, pulling me out of my thoughts. I smiled a smile I know didn't reach my eyes and his forehead creased.


"Mmmhmm." I nodded knowing full well he didn't believe me.


"You're lying." He said nonchalantly.


"Can we discuss this at home?" I pleaded looking over at the people across the table from us.


"Sure. We can go back to my place." I sighed as he specified his house. I was there four nights out of seven. Whatever. No big deal right? "We're done here anyways."


We rose and he allowed me to walk ahead of him out of the room before over taking me with his long strides, causing me to have to almost run to keep up.


"Max, slow down!" I hissed as I practically ran out of the door. He mumbled a quick sorry before getting into his car, waiting for me to do the same. I stood there for a second, collecting my thoughts before moving to get into the car. Door locked? "Very funny, Max. Let me in." He giggled like a six year old before unlocking the door and letting me in. I did up my seat belt before staring at the roof of the car.


"God, give her grace." I heard from beside me, and I knew he was mocking me. Ass.

The ride was silent as he drove back to his condo downtown. I loved this place. We always stayed here because it was bigger than my place. Why not right? I'd rather stay in a king sized bed than try and squeeze onto a double. Especially when he hogs the blankets.


"Okay, Alex. What's the deal?" He sat at his table folding his hands infront of him.


"What are we doing, Max?"


"What do you mean?" I sighed, what did I mean? What a dangerous question.


"I mean... What are we doing? I can't keep this up, Max. I need to know what's going on. We're 25. " He sighed deeply.


"What do you want me to say, Alexandra?" I stared at him. Was he serious? What did I want him to say? How about... You're right Lex. I love you. I always have. You're the only girl I want.


"Never mind, Max. I think I need to go." I sighed, turning to leave the condo.


"Alex, come on. We're friends right?" He took a few long strides to get between me and the door.

"Yah, Max. Friends... I just need some time to get back to friends ok?" I smiled waterly, trying desperately not to cry in front of him. This was killing me. He nodded in understanding, I think. "I'll call you." I embraced him and kissed his rough cheek. "Bye, Max." I whispered into his ear before closing the door on my past.





You go on, and I'll be happier.